HK 2016 | My Tribe | Estrangement

In my maiden trip to HK this year, I happened to experience a more local, and comfortable, side of HK. During earlier trips, HK had been an off-putting experience due to a combination of bad weather, cold people and claustrophobic cityscape. I stayed with a close friend of mine and, on my last day there, met a couple of other good friends with whom I share some good memories of my time in Singapore. There were either long discussions of common friends or passing references to people I barely knew.

These were the people of my tribe - people with similar backgrounds who went on to do further studies and were comfortably settled in their newfound career paths. I forknew a lingering feeling of estrangement as we gathered. Their social fabric was mostly colored with their workplace experiences and their actions leading to a certainty of future. I had little to contribute. I have been trying to dispel the clouds of uncertainty as I grapple with an unprecedented financial crunch. As I have mentioned earlier, the gutsiness to embrace uncertainty has more or less gone (ref: Priorities Backslide). 

Richness of a lifestyle lies not just in soaking in new experiences, but also in using them to create something that reduces disorder (ref: Thinking Dangerously). 

I have done well with the former part but have been struggling with the latter part. 

Creating is much more complex than learning. While learning is an individual experience, creation is typically an outcome of a concerted effort of many.

While in HK, it was for the first time that I spent some time thinking about the amount of planning that must have gone while building this city. It’s intricate network of roads settles harmoniously in little gaps between towering buildings. I’ve never seen a traffic jam here. There’s lots of energy in certain neighborhoods. But it also smacks of an unwelcoming alienation. I still don’t understand the people here, and probably never will. 

I miss certain aspects of my friendships I seem to have lost over the time. I almost never share my experiences of an itinerant lifestyle with anyone. An ever thickening and ever softening financial cushion seems to be the sole driving factor for most people. I had a friend with whom I could discuss the trappings of our lifestyles. He was much more focused, intense and likeable than me. He severed all ties with some of us about a year ago. 

What I want to do in addition to what I mentioned in Priorities Backslide:

• Spend some more time in East Asia.
• Build a social construct to enable implementation of a few of my ideas.
• Earn money

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Priorities Backslide

What happened to the guiding principles in my life? 我的基本原則怎麼了？

I have been struggling with lack of funds and lack of clarity in how to resolve this problem. It has hijacked my thought process. I spend my time on silly ideas that can be monetized. I spend time polishing my programming skills so as to become employable. I no longer stay up late thinking and taking down notes; I no longer pull up those unplanned trips, spend a long time in isolated natural spots or reach out to strangers doing interesting things. I don't remember the last time I pushed myself physically to the limit [1]. I haven't climbed a mountain in more than a year (most of it due to bad weather). I work out regularly but it's nowhere as intense as what I used to do a couple of years ago [2].

我最近遭遇資金缺乏的困境了，不清楚怎麼解決這個困擾我的心靈的問題。我百花時間想可賺錢的計畫。我花時間磨練我的編程技能。好久沒有熬夜沈思，做筆記；好久沒有隨時出發，住在個幽靜大自然或是跟另類生活方式的人聯絡；好久沒有挑戰體力極限 [1]。已經一年多我沒有爬過什麼山了「主要是因為天氣太糟糕」。我最近運動可是他並沒有以前的強度[2]。

I want to 

- spend more time close to nature, 

- trim and optimize my belongings, 

- indulge in more art, and 

- explore urban spaces further

我想要
－多花時間在大自然裡
－優選我的所有物
－多沈迷於藝術和
－多探索城市空間

I want to spend time thinking about transportation systems, ways to enrich a minimalist way of life, and learn newer forms of art the joy of which can be shared with people easily [3]. Sharing happiness is in itself a happiness.

我較喜歡考慮另類交通方式，充實簡約生活，學可分享的藝術方式 [3]。畢竟分享快樂也就是一種快樂。 

I want to use my programming skills to utilize collective intelligence for a more efficient and economical lifestyle. 

But that takes time, effort and money. Money is something I don't have. I am still fighting off the urge to pick a programming job here which seems to be the easiest and worst option. Freelance projects maybe?

我想要藉由編程利用集體智慧為高校的生活方式。不過這件事需要時間與我並沒有的錢。我還是不想做個編程工作；這是最容易而最爛的計畫。自由職業呢？

I spent the last month blowing a lot of money to regain my health. I spent most of this month planning how to make myself stay in Taiwan and have a sustainable lifestyle. Other than a stronger grip on Mandarin and better programming skills, I haven't gained a lot this year. My confidence is weakening. 

The madness of living a life in extremes used to be something elemental about my personality. It seems a distant memory now.

上個月我因生病而花了不少錢。這個月我還是很努力待在台灣在找個可持續的生活方式。除了比較好的中文與比較好的編成技能，我沒有得到什麼特別的成就。極端生活的瘋狂本來是我個性的不可分的元素，目前他是一個遙遠的記憶。

[1]: I did spend two nights sleepless, more or less walking incessantly, but it was more of an upshot of an unplanned trip gone haywire. I ended up getting sick and spent a lot of money on treatment.

[2]: However, I feel I have a better control on my body and my core has never been stronger. I have almost stopped running and have been experimenting with street workout. I have got good company. I have begun to appreciate the value of static posture - an underlying element in yoga, gymnastics and martial arts. 

[3]: I consider fitness, specifically novel ways of motion, an art. But that's something the joy of which can't be shared with people around. The joy of a singer, dancer, magician or a musician performing in an open space can be shared among spectators. 

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With an Amei Family 「跟一個阿美家」

During the Chinese New Year break, 2016 I got a chance a spend a day with a family living along the east coast south of Hualien.

If you have traveled along the east coast, you know what I am talking about. There are houses scattered along the coast facing the deep blue Pacific. Not being part of a congested Taiwanese township, they occupy a liberal amount of space. The family I visited lived in one such house in the middle of nowhere. It was a single-story fronted by a large porch and a garden.  There was another garden on its lateral side. On the other side stood the house of their only neighbor.

An infectious openness pervaded the house. A delicate sense of privacy could be detected in few matters. Being CNY, almost all the family members had gathered at one place. I was handed a bike to explore the vicinity. The bike didn't have a lock. It didn't matter.

I came back around three in the afternoon. Soon I joined a group of men sitting out in the porch. They  were friendly, and had little inhibition while expressing themselves or talking to me. They'd pass around a bottle of 小米酒 and munch on nuts while talking. They were loud, they were hilarious. 

Their stories had an elemental freshness; they didn't have many contextual or cultural overtones. Their interaction wasn't delimited by social niceties or shaped by formality. It took little effort to connect to them.

As it got dark, the sea in front us disappeared behind the glow of streetlights. One could still feel the vastness of it as it dissolved cacophony of tiny human settlements into its roaring bosom. The evening and the night involved consumption of copious amounts of alcohol and food. Loud guffaws of laughter occasionally tore into the stillness of the dark. Unconcerned by statutes of an urban society, in the lap of nature, surrounded by people I didn't know a day ago, I don't remember the last time I felt so liberating.

過年時我遇到一位住在東岸的人。他邀請我來他家一起吃飯。

台灣的東岸有幾個零散的面對海的房子。他們不屬於一個擁擠的鄉鎮，而是位於開闊空間。我拜訪的那個大片房子也是這種的。在個大的前廊前面有個菜園。他一邊有另外一個菜園，一邊有唯一鄰居的家。

房子裡瀰漫著開放性。他們平凡的生活裡難以感覺到隱私的元素。因過年而家人都來聚集。我朋友給我一個腳踏車探索鄰區。那台腳踏車不能鎖起來。沒有人在乎。

我三點回來再加入坐在前廊的人。他們又熱情又直言不諱。他們一邊吃小吃，一邊從寶特瓶輪流的和小米酒。他們相當搞笑。他們講的故事有簡易性的感覺，沒有任何以文化為複雜的元素。他們的話題不是以應酬為範圍限制的。雖然我完全不了解他們的背景或是文化，我輕易的跟他們連結。

日落後海洋路燈的光芒後黑暗中消失了。你以驚濤咆哮的聲音與其他聲音的缺席中還是會感覺到海洋的出席。哪一個晚上大家都酗酒宴飲。偶爾哄笑的聲音會撕破黑暗的沉寂。那一晚上我對當時本人生活的情況完全無動於衷。在大自然的懷抱裡，跟前一天完全不認識的人中，我陶醉在剛發現的解放了。

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