Stuck

The clock is ticking, and I am stuck.

There has been no traveling and no elements of novelty of late; even those irregularly paced phases of high-spiritedness have ceased to zap me. Optimism is letting up gradually. There is consumption - consumption of knowledge, of information. That is one good thing. Necessary but not enough!

To beat the dullness and keep one's brain ticking, there has to be a stimulant in one's life. For me the element of novelty works as the stimulant. One can also call it strangeness or unfamiliarity.

There is an amorphous world of possibilities out there. The key is to pick one, outfit it with your skills and substantialize it.. I don't find it hard to learn something, I can consume information at a fast pace. What I find difficult is using all this information to come up with something appealing. I find it a daunting task to tame the randomness that skims over the masses, or to weave patterns to rein in the randomness. 

As the clock ticks, the scope of my ambitions and my plans diminishes. Every passing second the audacity of my thoughts gets watered down. The chores of mundane life have started to bother me again. The necessary evil of seeking financial stability goads me constantly to resort to the consistency of pragmatism devoid of hope.

Let's hope it ends soon. I know it will end soon.